GRANDPA
By
Vicki E Slaughter
​
“Grandpa!” a quavering young voice called into the night. “Grandpa!”
After a slight hesitation, a raspy voice answered. “Yes, child. I am here.”
“Grandpa, I’m frightened.”
“What frightens you, Julia?”
“Grandpa, I had a bad dream. In it they said you were dead,” replied the girl with confusion in her voice. “They said your heart just stopped. That you didn’t want to live any more. Grandpa?” She whispered, “Why would they say such things?” Her voice hardened, “Grandpa, say they told me a lie! Grandpa, I love you. Don’t have left me. I need you!” she whimpered, a sob slipping out.
“Granddaughter, who are they?”
“Mom and Daddy,” answered the young girl briefly, tears flowing down her cheeks. Dark circles under her hazel eyes highlighted her gaunt features. Her blonde hair was lank and a snarled mess from her weeks lying listlessly in her bed.
“Child of my heart, have your parents ever lied to you before?” The voice questioned sadly, still speaking from behind the cover of darkness. Seeing the light of his life so thin and lifeless was breaking his heart.
“No, Grandpa,” Julia’s voice wavered softly. “But Grandpa, it was only a dream. I don’t feel afraid anymore now that you’re here beside me.” Silence prevailed a moment before Julia spoke again. “Grandpa?”
“Yes, child.”
“Why don’t you turn on the lights and come sit on the bed to talk to me like you usually do when I’m frightened?”
“I can’t, granddaughter,” answered her beloved grandfather’s voice.
“Why not, Grandpa?” Julia asked in puzzlement.
“Because, Julia, I can’t touch you.”
“Grandpa?” the granddaughter cried out with fear. “Grandpa, what are you trying to say?”
“My dear child, you are ten years old. Old enough, I think, to realize what I mean without any explanation needed on my part. Am I not right?”
“Grandpa, the dream…” she hesitated as if hoping for an interruption.
“What, child. What about the dream?” asked the old man gently. “Go on.”
“Grandpa! Tell me the dream was only a dream! Don’t tell me that it’s true and you are really dead. Grandpa!” Julia set up in her agitation.
“Child, I can’t do that.” The voice quavered briefly into silence before continuing. “Julia, I am dead!” He said slowly and distinctly. “I was only allowed to come back to the world of the living for the length of time needed to help you deal with my passing, my darling grandchild.” Suddenly a shimmering light appeared at the foot of the girl’s bed. Slowly it took on the shape of a figure surrounded by an unearthly glow.
Julia stared at the stranger before her. The man seemed familiar and yet not. The white hair she remembered her Grandpa having was now a color of blonde that matched her own hair. His deeply wrinkled face was now tanned and smooth. His shoulders were broad and straight, not slumped. His hazel eyes, so like hers, were bright and pain free.
Her Grandpa looked happy.
“Grandpa? How strange you look! Grandpa, you look like a man of twenty. That is you, Grandpa, isn’t it?”
“Yes! Julia, remember your dream!” insisted the young man in her grandfather’s gentle baritone voice.
“Yes, Grandpa. But it was just that, only a dream,” stated the girl firmly, before adding worriedly. “Wasn’t it?”
“Child! Julia. I just told you that the dream wasn’t a dream.” The young man stepped closer to the girl. He moved closer and bent as if to sit on the bed and take her hand as he had done so many times before, only to remember that he couldn’t touch her in his spirit form. He straightened and his hand dropped to his side. “Julia, granddaughter! I died three weeks ago and still you have not accepted it. You have lain in this bed, dreaming of the times we had together. But my dear, those times are in the past and can not occur again. You must realize that. If you lie here much longer in the stupor you’ve been in, you’ll die just as I have.”
“Would that be so bad, Grandpa?” questioned his beloved granddaughter softly. Her hazel eyes held so much sadness.
“For you, yes,” he thundered.
His granddaughter flinched at his loud voice.
Sorrow entered the young man’s hazel eyes. He had not meant to frighten Julia. He softened his tone as he tried again to persuade her to want to live. “Child, you are young and have much to live for. I was old, tired, in pain, and had long out-lived my time.”
“No, no, Grandpa! I know of many people older than you are,” protested Julia and reached for her grandfather.
“But their lives have not had the fullness of mine. Julia, you are the light of my life and you brought me so much joy.” He smiled fondly. “But I was tired and lonely for your grandmother. Before, you needed me as none of my other grandchildren or my children ever did. You were sensitive in the same way that I was. I wanted to help you gain strength and confidence in yourself. Learn that being different was not bad. I thought I had succeeded and that your need for me was over…and I still do. Don’t prove me wrong!”
Julia shrank back and sighed. She bent her head as she thought through what her grandfather had told her. “Grandpa, are you happy being where you are now?” asked the young girl wistfully, even as she searched for the answer in his youthful face. “You seem happy.”
“Very happy.”
Julia nodded. “And Grandma is with you looking as young as you do now?
“Yes and feeling it, too. Just as I am feeling young and free of all pain.”
“I remember how you had so many aches and pains,” she murmured consideringly. Her qualms left her as she thought over what had been discussed. Reluctantly, she came to the conclusion that it was right and good for her grandfather to have died if this was indeed the outcome. “Grandpa, I love you. And because I do, I will accept your dea…death.” She hesitated before continuing firmly, “Your death…No! Not death, rebirth!”
“Thank you, granddaughter. I love you, too, Julia.”
********************
Soft weeping filled Julia’s bedroom as the youthful figure of her grandfather faded back into the darkness and Julia woke up from her very realistic dream. Her body shook with harsh sobs as she cried out her deep grief over the lost her grandfather.
Through her tears and heartrending sorrow, Julia saw her mother crying with joy and her father clapping the shoulder of a nearby man. Her mother swept in to pull Julia into her comforting arms.
“Oh baby! I am here. It will be all right,” her mother soothed as she rubbed her daughter’s back.
“You’ve done it, Dr Anderson! By God, you’ve saved our daughter,” Julia’s father enthused.
“Yes, tears are definitely a good sign.” Dr. Anderson smiled, but admitted. “But it seems that your decision not to put her in a mental hospital was also good.” To himself, he acknowledged his doubts about how much impact he had had on the breakthrough.
********************
“Child, don’t mention my visit,” Julia’s grandfather’s voice came to into her mind from what seemed like a long distance.
“Why not, Grandpa?”
“Because they would not understand,” responded her grandfather.
“They being my parents?”
“And the doctors,” added the fading voice.
“Oh…Grandpa?” she quavered. Her eyes were dark with unshed tears.
“Good-bye, Granddaughter,” whispered the voice firmly.
“Good-bye, Grandpa,” she whispered back.
*******************
None in the room heard the quiet good-byes. Just as none had heard the conversation between the sleeping girl and her beloved grandpa. All that mattered to her parents is that she had come out of her deep apathy.
The doctor wondered what had actually brought her back, because he was not convinced it was through any actions on his part. He had kept her alive, something else revived her. It was a puzzle.
Julia knew what had brought her back. Her grandfather had come to visit her one last time. She knew that she would never be able to talk to anyone about it and that saddened her. She would miss her Grandpa and their long talks about subjects no one else around them was interested in.
His visit had provided the reassurance she needed to come out of her funk. She had needed to know that her Grandpa had not left to hurt her or because he no longer loved her. His passage was because it was his time to go. And she was finally okay with that.
Through her tears, her smile bloomed.